This is the fourth PITF Index for Season 2 of Heroes, the superhero TV show where punching people in the face is a normal form of social intercourse.
Face-punch count: 0. We had our second shout-out — yo, Monica!
PITF Index after the cut.
But first a quick recap of the rules. Being evil does not mean you need to be punched in the face. Being punched in the face is a direct result of being snarky, useless, whiny, smarmy, petulant, emo, or Mohinder. People not appearing in the episode are not eligible for being punched in the face, except in extreme circumstances like we run out of people to punch. Dead people are immune, probably, unless they appear in flashback or something. Previous performance does influence current placement.
This week, our list looks like this.
1. Flying kid, who has finally reached #1 after actually a pretty short rampup, you creepy little schmuck. Susan says, “BIG PUNCH scum scum scum scumsauce.”
2. Maya, for being an overly trusting completely boring piece of subplot. Susan says, “PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH it is your fault if your brain gets eaten.”
3. Parkman, who has not yet mastered the basic social nicety of not letting your pre-teen ward get her brain eaten by your psychic and scary father. Dude. Susan says, “PUNCH ‘We’re going to protect you’ JERK JERK JERK.”
4. Monica’s boss, for illegal hiring practices. Susan says, “PUNCH burnsauce.”
5. Monica’s friend, for failing to say anything nice for an entire hour, and also for her inevitable death in a refridgerator because we can see that coming, duh. Susan says, “MINOR PUNCH.”
Angela Petrelli remains unpunched for taking some responsibility for her actions, etc. We thought about Claire but she’s just seventeen and it’s kind of like punching the victim in the face, which we are against. Sylar, as is his wont, skims the line between evil and worthy of face-punching: he does it with smarm.