Film Festivals

Toolbox Murders starts out as a simple slasher flick, then takes a sharp right turn into semi-Masonic horror. But the slasher element never gets too far away. Basic plot: nice young couple moves into creepy apartment building with alchemical symbols on the floor. People die. Wife discovers something she will regret discovering, and explores it. That last bit is the sharp right turn, and if you’re the kind of person who really liked the house in The Blair Witch Project and that cave in Jeepers Creepers, you’d really like the places this movie goes. ...

The biggest obstacle in the path of machinima is the lack of expressiveness in 3D game engines. Of course, Malice@Doll’s characters were completely without expression, so maybe it’s not such a big barrier after all. Red Vs. Blue gets around the problem by using characters in powered armor. This works out just fine. Burnie Burns, the director and creator, has enough of a handle on what he’s doing to pull off double-takes, both in the character animations and with the camera, which is more than I can say for some traditional directors. He’s got the chops to make machinima believable as cinema. He also knows how to protect his weaknesses: for example, shaky voice acting is fixed up by filtering everyone through radio static, which makes perfect sense in the powered armor context. ...

OMG Cutie Honey OMG. How sad I am that I would not have seen this epic were it not for the cancellation of Porco Rosso. OMG. I am fairly certain that, during the making of this film, not once did anyone say “We shouldn’t do that because it’d look goofier in live action than on the comic book page.” I think that there was no restraint involved in the making of this movie. Restraints, perhaps, but not restraint. ...

Was that another day? I think so. I lost track of reality around the time I walked out of Harry Knuckles and the Pearl Necklace, which drew so heavily on action movies and the vocabulary of action established by Hong Kong kung fu movies, and walked into Executioners From Shaolin. When I woke up this morning, I expected the television to speak to me in Japanese. I’ve seen movies in four languages and trailers in a couple more, and I’m not even talking about the cinematic vocabularies I seem to be obsessing on in other posts. ...

Malice@Doll. Uh. Fetishistic 3D CGI adult anime set in a future without people. Malice is a sex doll who encounters some sort of monster that changes her into a human and gives her the ability to do the same to other machines. There are tenticular penises involved, sometimes, but not always. Things do not go as well as the newly human Malice had hoped. I think it was some kind of allegory for the danger of letting women and robots get uppity, although Malice does get to transcend at the end. Everyone else goes back to normal, though. A fair number of people walked out during the movie, and Hillside Strangler has been displaced as the worst movie I’ve seen so far.

Nothing like seeing a pristine copy of a Shaw Brothers film on the big screen. I think the colors were a little less saturated and the picture was a little more crisp than those on the DVDs I have; I expect the digitization process accounts for both of those. I wouldn’t really say I prefer either. Either way, I’m getting the superb kung fu and the dramatic period pieces and all. ...

Harry Knuckles and the Pearl Necklace is an example of a semi-pro film that sort of works, unlike Hillside Strangler. The acting is kind of painful and the script is too full of action movie in-jokes that go on too long, but the tongue is in the cheek and the totality is fairly enjoyable. Besides, “Smells like fish — tastes like pain” is a great line, so that’s all good. ...

I’m in Montreal! This is written post-first movie, of which more anon; there’s a coffee shop with wireless across from the theater but I don’t want to lose my place in line. I’ll upload entries as I find time. The trip up was pretty painless. The high point was the New York Italian-themed restaurant at a highway exit in the middle of Quebec farmland. Our hotel is small but charming, and it’s an easy walk to Concordia University, where the festival takes place. It was a little disturbing seeing a “For Sale” sign on the hotel facade, but it hasn’t been sold as of this weekend, thankfully. ...

Tomorrow I begin the trek up to Montreal for FantAsia. I am so much looking forward to this I can’t even begin to explain. Sadly, I won’t make Porco Rosso, but Cutie Honey is an acceptable replacement. To do: Pack (clothing, toiletries) Update iPod, get rid of 9/11 speeches (good but they take up room), add Germany 70s electronica Charge camera battery Detach USB cell phone charger from keyboard, tuck into laptop bag ...

So that’s settled, then; my pal Chris and I are venturing up to the Great White North (in the form of Montreal) the last weekend of this month to partake in movies. My schedule is basically the same one I outlined earlier, plus Saving Private Tootsie (original). I chose Hillside Strangler and Into the Mirror over my alternative choices in the end. I have tickets and I have a hotel reservation. If anyone happens to be in Montreal that weekend, lemme know and we’ll have beer or coffee or something. My free time will be sparse for obvious reasons, but I imagine… maybe I should say “we’ll have popcorn.” ...