fantasia

OK, so the whole theory about unpleasant people trapped in an unpleasant situation making for bad movies? It needs a revision. Wilderness taught me that it’s all about seeing ‘em get their comeuppance — which means, actually, that it’s all about having characters who you’re invested in, whether you like ‘em or not. The reformatory lads of Wilderness were pretty much the latter, so there’s a lot of joy to be had from seeing them stuck on an island with something dark and terrible stalking them. Said joy was aided and abetted by excellent acting on everyone’s part. ...

Meh, Junk. I’d had high hopes, but it turned out to be royally dull. Reporter gets stuck in a bad place, which is pretty clearly a metaphor for something cause it’s completely stupid for her to be stuck there, and encounters people, including someone who may or may not be a serial killer. Speeches ensue. At no point is our heroine proactive. Nobody’s really proactive, in fact. There’s a vague attempt at pretending there’s a coverup. Russia decays. Etc. ...

Awwww! Train Man! Awwwwwww! OK, that was the sweetest little romantic comedy ever. Sort of like a Douglas Coupland novel without the reflexive defensive snarkiness, or like Megatokyo without the self-loathing. As S. pointed out, the characters were all treated with respect, even our adorable otaku (who should be played by Jason Schwartzman in the inevitable remake). It’s a nice love story that doesn’t depend on coincidence or amusing accident to move it along. ...

So you see a big budget Korean blockbuster like (say) Vampire Cop Ricky, and you get… I liked Independence Day, but it didn’t stick with me. This was about the same. South Korea, from my limited experience, has less of a national character when it comes to film than Japan or Hong Kong; the technique and acting is on a par with and deeply influenced by Hollywood film, without the minimalism and immediacy of so much Japanese film or the visceral propulsion I associate with Hong Kong cinema. I know Korean cinema is not a new institution, but it feels to me like they’re still finding their way, at least as far as mainstream big budget stuff goes. ...

I didn’t know anything about Ultraman before seeing these four episodes. What I know now: there are five members of Team DASH, and they fight giant monsters, kinda like Kaiju Big Battel. Team DASH is a special group within the UDF. Giant monsters tend to ravage a specific area of Tokyo which is a cut below the classic Toho models. Officer Kaito can turn into Ultraman Max, who is exceedingly tall and who kicks butt on almost everyone. He only gets to stick around for three minutes, though. And, um, that’s pretty much it. ...

Shinobi is state of the art Japanese high budget historical romantic dramatic action. The story is not Romeo and Juliet with throwing stars, as tempting as it is to use that line. (So tempting I used it anyway.) However, it is fated lovers and there were throwing stars, so that’s all good. There’s a minimalist plot which, for much of the movie, looked like it was going to leave me hanging in terms of story satisfaction. I’d been sort of middling satisfied as the various ninjas, each with their own unique fighting style — excellent fight choreography — battled and struggled and died. But then the final confrontation turns out to not be the two lovers; rather, their story transmutes into the driving engine for something which is in the end more important. And that rocked. ...

I gotta stop seeing Thai movies unless they get really good reviews. Hell was kinda Saving Private Tootsie in, well, Hell. Lots of wandering around, no dramatic tension, and I didn’t really care if any of the characters made it back to the mortal world. Also I knew they would, because the big demon boss said “Let them out once they learn their lesson,” except he couched it in terms of karmic debt. ...

This was, I think, a metaphor for the state of sports in Boston after the first two New England Patriots Super Bowl victories. The All Out High baseball team is of course the Red Sox, doomed to never win (at least in the eyes of the city). The All Out High soccer team, successful and snooty and possessed of innumerable chicks in miniskirts, is the Patriots. The struggle of the baseball team to make the Nationals under a goofy laconic manager is the struggle of the Red Sox to make the World Series under Terry Francona. ...

I find most movies advertised as “so bad it’s good” don’t fulfill the latter term. Three MIghty Men was an exception. The print sucked, the music was laughable, the acting wasn’t, the fight scenes… actually, the fight scenes were kind of imaginative, but they were imaginative at about half-speed. Captain America’s actor knew some gymnastics, so we got that. The Spider was defeated, by my count, six times. No explanation given. Not a lot of explanation of anything, really, except the reason why our heros wore masks. (“The Spider is like a child; masks send him into a rage and he will try and kill us. Also, my costume is bulletproof.”) ...

This was, I think, a metaphor for the state of sports in Boston after the first two New England Patriots Super Bowl victories. The All Out High baseball team is of course the Red Sox, doomed to never win (at least in the eyes of the city). The All Out High soccer team, successful and snooty and possessed of innumerable chicks in miniskirts, is the Patriots. The struggle of the baseball team to make the Nationals under a goofy laconic manager is the struggle of the Red Sox to make the World Series under Terry Francona. ...