This is the ninth PITF Index for Season 2 of Heroes, the superhero TV show where punching people in the face is the raison d’etre, full stop.

Face-punch count: 0. Apparently we’ve escalated to more serious forms of facial violence.

PITF Index after the cut.

But first a quick recap of the rules. Being evil does not mean you need to be punched in the face. Being punched in the face is a direct result of being snarky, useless, whiny, smarmy, petulant, emo, or Mohinder. People not appearing in the episode are not eligible for being punched in the face, except in extreme circumstances like we run out of people to punch. Dead people are immune, probably, unless they appear in flashback or something. Previous performance does influence current placement.

The writers have a meta-spot at the top of the list for the nonce. They can escape this placement by a) writing better characters; b) cutting back on the women in peril while bringing back Audrey Hanson; and c) pretending the Maya plot never happened.

This week, our list looks like this.

1a. Matt, who is apparently completely unable to learn from the past. Do not be using your powers to control people, young man. Also, do not be using them to control your daughter. Also, Angela spelled out the consequences for you and you did morally repugnant things anyhow.
1b. Mohinder, who is just being really stupid. Again. Note that we’re talking 1a and 1b here, since man, it’s a hard choice between the M&Ms. They’ve both convinced themselves that their vile actions are not evil. Welcome to the road to hell, boys!
3. Bob. While he acts according to his nature and it’s acceptable to be evil, he’s also exceedingly dumb for using Claire’s real last name. This is not any way to build a global conspiracy, you know. Angela wouldn’t make that kind of mistake. Neither would Linderman. Or Kaito.
4. Elle, for using her powers in public just to show off. Cut that out. We have hopes that you can learn from the example of Claire and Noah’s relationship… oh. Well, still.
5. West, in what is probably his last appearance on the list. He was a jerk to begin with and it is inappropriate for a stalker to complain that he doesn’t trust someone. However, if he learns from Noah’s example and becomes badass, there is a ton of hope for the lad.

Matt and Mohinder, man, there’s a tough one. Mohinder’s just an idiot, albeit he thinks he’s doing the right thing. Matt’s sort of in the same boat, insofar as he’s using his powers unwisely because he’s committed to saving people. Very cop-like of him. In the end Susan and I couldn’t agree as to who was more worthy of a right hook to the kisser, so we tied them up (not like that) and moved on.