This is the tenth PITF Index for Season 2 of Heroes, the superhero TV show where punching people in the face will last as long as someone’s writing the screenplay.
Face-punch count: 1. It might have been more but you know, it’s not like Monica’s powers could actually help her in a fight or anything. If only she’d seen some old martial arts footage… oh wait.
PITF Index after the cut.
But first a quick recap of the rules. Being evil does not mean you need to be punched in the face. Being punched in the face is a direct result of being snarky, useless, whiny, smarmy, petulant, emo, or Mohinder. People not appearing in the episode are not eligible for being punched in the face, except in extreme circumstances like we run out of people to punch. Dead people are immune, probably, unless they appear in flashback or something. Previous performance does influence current placement.
The writers have a meta-spot at the top of the list for the nonce. They can escape this placement by a) writing better characters; b) cutting back on the women in peril while bringing back Audrey Hanson; and c) pretending the Maya plot never happened.
This week, our list looks like this.
1. Maya Maya Maya. I begin to think the writers have it in for people whose names begin with M. Forget about the attraction to Sylar, forget about the ease with which she’s manipulated. What kind of sense does it make for her to send her brother, who does not speak English, away? What did she think was going to happen? He’s an illegal alien who doesn’t speak the language and he’s thousands of miles from the Mexican border. Susan notes that they probably weren’t planning on giving him the car, either. You’re sending him away to keep him safe?
2. Sylar, for proposing such a preposterous plan in the first place. Further, the whole plan to push Maya into learning new things about her powers by risking his own life was not the brightest idea in the world.
3. Mohinder, who continues to be a pawn of the Company. What do you call a problem like Mohinder?
4. Peter, who continues to be a pawn of Adam. It’s sort of forgivable up to the point where Hiro, who has known good guy tendencies, tries to tell Peter that something is up but Peter completely blows it off.
5. Damon, for low-grade idiocy. Also, don’t lie to Micah, you were completely going to sell the comics whether or not Micah liked the idea and you were probably going to spend the money on more PPVs. Jerk.
This list was distilled from an overwhelming urge to punch everyone on the episode in the face, with brief exceptions for people in California and Japan.