This post is pretty much for Patrick. Others may be amused as well.
Chapter 11 of Dan Simmons’ new book, Hard Freeze, starts like this:
“How’s the book?” asked Kurtz. He squinted at the title. “Isn’t that the same guy you were reading twelve years ago, before I got sent away?”
“Yeah. His detective fought in the Korean War, which makes the old fart in his late sixties at least, but he still kicks ass. A new book comes out every year, if not sooner.”
“Not anymore,” said Arlene. “The P.I.’s got a girlfriend who’s a real bitch. An arrogant piece of work. And she’s got a dog.”
“A dog who eats on the table and sleeps in their bed. And the P.I. loves them both to bits.”
“Then why do you keep reading them?”
“I keep hoping the P.I. will wake up and cap both the girlfriend and that ratty dog,” said Arlene.