This is the third PITF Index for Season 2 of Heroes, the superhero TV show where people really like to punch each other in the face.
Face-punch count: 1. Also, we had our first shout-out, which in the fine tradition of fanfic authors and recappers everywhere, we’re gonna pretend was directed at us. Go Hiro. Rah!
PITF Index after the cut.
But first a quick recap of the rules. Being evil does not mean you need to be punched in the face. Being punched in the face is a direct result of being snarky, useless, whiny, smarmy, petulant, emo, or Mohinder. People not appearing in the episode are not eligible for being punched in the face, except in extreme circumstances like we run out of people to punch. Dead people are immune, probably, unless they appear in flashback or something. Previous performance does influence current placement.
This week, our list looks like this.
1. Candice, both for thinking it’s a bright idea to save and hang out with the serial killer and because um. So the shallowest, bitchiest, most appearance-concerned sexualized female on the show was driven to her actions because she had trouble accepting her size? Thanks! The writers of this episode get half of the punch.
2. The flying kid, who had no idea Claire had powers when he started being a creepy stalker dude, so it’s not like there’s any excuse there.
3. Irish guy, Irish guy’s traitor pal, the whole bad-accented overly-trusting rambunctiously-cliched lot of them. Irish organized crime is officially overplayed. I blame Scorsese.
4. Mohinder! This spy stuff is hard, whine whine, and let me make promises I can’t possibly keep to a kid suffering from PTSD. Duh.
5. The Alchemist, for being hugely smarmy and a Company drone for the third straight week.
Angela Petrelli falls off because she didn’t show up this week. Takezo Kensei showed signs of being a human being after all. Maya and Alejandro are strong threats for next week for sheer annoyance value; more dumb stuff like stealing cars and they’re on the list.