This is the fifth PITF Index for Season 2 of Heroes, the superhero TV show where punching people in the face is a way to say howdy.
Face-punch count: lots. There was a fight and we lost count.
PITF Index after the cut.
But first a quick recap of the rules. Being evil does not mean you need to be punched in the face. Being punched in the face is a direct result of being snarky, useless, whiny, smarmy, petulant, emo, or Mohinder. People not appearing in the episode are not eligible for being punched in the face, except in extreme circumstances like we run out of people to punch. Dead people are immune, probably, unless they appear in flashback or something. Previous performance does influence current placement.
This week, our list looks like this.
1. Mohinder, for giving Molly up to the Company and tasering Niki and in general showing a remarkable streak of giving it up for the Man. Dude. You just gave the Company a superhero tracer. Are you not thinking… oh. OK, you’re Mohinder, you aren’t thinking.
2. Elle, not so much for the acting, although I could write a post on what’s wrong with that, but for the pathetically screwed up addiction to violence and for pouting and god. Does Heroes have some sort of psychotic female hero working for the bad guys quota? Candice dies, so Elle shows up?
3. Parkman, for being, well, dumb. Clue: your father is still a scumbag. I was going to put him lower but Susan notes that he only went to Philly because Mohinder made him.
4. Peter, for deciding he’d rather hang out in sunny Ireland than go deal with the clearly significant issues that caused his amnesia. Which gets people killed. Nice work, Peter.
5. Monica’s friend, who is amazingly getting more and more whiny and co-dependent every week. Hopefully Monica will watch some Phil Donahue next episode and learn how to say “Go peddle your pessimism somewhere else.”
A lot of the usual suspects weren’t in this episode, so got off scott free. Mohinder suffers as a result. We do not mourn. While Ricky dies at the end of the episode and is thus not eligible for future lists, he did enough dumb stuff in this hour to get an honorable mention. If Peter hadn’t been somewhat more stupid, Ricky would have gotten his spot.