Spider-Man, Ur-Woman

The New Rosetta Stone — parody or a serious challenge to Dave Sim for the misogyny crown? I honestly can’t tell.

My theory is simple and is, essentially, an analogy. By projecting the characteristics of “woman” onto a character which is more straightforward and more readily understood by the general population, I wish to make the behavior of “woman” comprehensible. I offer to you Spider Man as the best model for “woman.” My argument is sixfold:

1. Spider Man wears tights.
2. Spider Man wears a mask.
3. Spider Man weaves webs.
4. Spider Man has a sixth sense.
5. Spider Man shoots strings.
6. Spider Man can climb walls.