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Blast from the past

[When I was just a little lad, I worked at Netcom, then among the largest ISPs in the country. Some of our customers wanted me fired for posting this.]

Newsgroups: netcom.announce,netcom.general,netcom.netcruiser.announce,
From: (Robert McReiger)
Subject: ANNOUNCEMENT:  ScotsNet
Followup-To: netcom.general,netcom.netcruiser.general
Organization: ScotsNet On-line Communication Sairvices, Inc.
Date: Sat, 1 Apr 1995 00:00:00 GMT
I'd like to thank ye all for reading this little message I've composed,
because this little message is representin' a large change in this
company, and it's no small decision I've made.  So it's a good thing ye
took the time to read it.  Because I've got a lot to be tellin' ye.
But before I'm about that, I suppose a number o' ye will be won'drin'
why I've gone an' changed me name.  Well, I'm goin' to be tellin' ye
that too.  I've been resarchin' me heritage, and I've discovered that
I've a wee bit of Scots ancestry in me -- and I've decided that it'd be
fittin' to honor it.
Which leads me to the subject of this wee little announcement.  You
see, I dinna think just changin' me name is enough to prove me love for
my new-found heritage.  No, I don't.  Fairthermore, I've been thinkin'
lately it's about time my company was provin' its intent to turn over a
new leaf by turning into a new company.  Wi' a new name, you know.
As such, I've decided that NETCOM Online Communication Sairvices,
Incorporated, will no longer be NETCOM Online Communication Sairvices.
Incorporated.  From now on, we're goin' to be *ScotsNet*.  And our
domain name, it'll be
We'll also be changin' a few of our policies.  To start with, we think
anyone who gets an' account wi' us is deservin' of a little
recognition.  Any sort of account, from our beloved NetCruiser accounts
all the way to our T1 customers.  So whenever ye gets an account wi'
us, we'll be givin' you your choice of a *wee* little terrier, or a
*great whackin' huge* terrier.
Whichever ye like.
And furthermore, if ye've gotten' an account wi' us, and it hasn't
worked out -- perhaps the bairns have been peerin' at the filthy
pictures on Usenet, or perhaps ye can't get the bluidy modem to produce
the bluidy initialization strings, or maybe it's just that your spouse
dinna think you're spendin' enough time wi' your new terrier -- we've
got a way to make it up t'you.  We're not goin' to help you get it
workin', but if you can't get it workin', we'll send you a lovely
potted plant.  Altogether free.  *And* your money back, as an apology.
It's the least we can do.
And in general, there's one thing ye can count on from here on in.
ScotsNet will niver do anythin' less than our very best to be the most
*Scottish* Internet Sairvice Provider we can be, and we can be vurry
Scottish indeed.  And we will be.
Because there's one thing we know for sure.
If it's not Scottish... it's *crap*.
Robert McReiger                                        
Chairman, ScotsNet Online Communication Sairvices, Inc.

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