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Category: General

Blast from the past

April 1, 2006
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[When I was just a little lad, I worked at Netcom, then among the largest ISPs in the country. Some of our customers wanted me fired for posting this.]

Newsgroups: netcom.announce,netcom.general,netcom.netcruiser.announce,netcom.net
cruiser.general
Path: kremvax.scots.net!bobr
From: bobr@scots.net (Robert McReiger)
Subject: ANNOUNCEMENT:  ScotsNet
Followup-To: netcom.general,netcom.netcruiser.general
Message-ID: 
Organization: ScotsNet On-line Communication Sairvices, Inc.
Date: Sat, 1 Apr 1995 00:00:00 GMT
Approved: bobr@kremvax.scots.net
I'd like to thank ye all for reading this little message I've composed,
because this little message is representin' a large change in this
company, and it's no small decision I've made.  So it's a good thing ye
took the time to read it.  Because I've got a lot to be tellin' ye.
But before I'm about that, I suppose a number o' ye will be won'drin'
why I've gone an' changed me name.  Well, I'm goin' to be tellin' ye
that too.  I've been resarchin' me heritage, and I've discovered that
I've a wee bit of Scots ancestry in me -- and I've decided that it'd be
fittin' to honor it.
Which leads me to the subject of this wee little announcement.  You
see, I dinna think just changin' me name is enough to prove me love for
my new-found heritage.  No, I don't.  Fairthermore, I've been thinkin'
lately it's about time my company was provin' its intent to turn over a
new leaf by turning into a new company.  Wi' a new name, you know.
As such, I've decided that NETCOM Online Communication Sairvices,
Incorporated, will no longer be NETCOM Online Communication Sairvices.
Incorporated.  From now on, we're goin' to be *ScotsNet*.  And our
domain name, it'll be scots.net.
We'll also be changin' a few of our policies.  To start with, we think
anyone who gets an' account wi' us is deservin' of a little
recognition.  Any sort of account, from our beloved NetCruiser accounts
all the way to our T1 customers.  So whenever ye gets an account wi'
us, we'll be givin' you your choice of a *wee* little terrier, or a
*great whackin' huge* terrier.
Whichever ye like.
And furthermore, if ye've gotten' an account wi' us, and it hasn't
worked out -- perhaps the bairns have been peerin' at the filthy
pictures on Usenet, or perhaps ye can't get the bluidy modem to produce
the bluidy initialization strings, or maybe it's just that your spouse
dinna think you're spendin' enough time wi' your new terrier -- we've
got a way to make it up t'you.  We're not goin' to help you get it
workin', but if you can't get it workin', we'll send you a lovely
potted plant.  Altogether free.  *And* your money back, as an apology.
It's the least we can do.
And in general, there's one thing ye can count on from here on in.
ScotsNet will niver do anythin' less than our very best to be the most
*Scottish* Internet Sairvice Provider we can be, and we can be vurry
Scottish indeed.  And we will be.
Because there's one thing we know for sure.
If it's not Scottish... it's *crap*.
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Robert McReiger                                                  bobr@scots.net
Chairman, ScotsNet Online Communication Sairvices, Inc.

Goes up to RGB

December 14, 2005
1 Comment

These Depression era photos in color are amazing; the subjects are interesting, but the perceptual aspect is more so. I think perhaps we’re used to thinking of the denizens of the 30s in black and white. These color versions — surely they’re publicity stills from Seabiscuit or Road to Perdition? It seems artificial, even though it’s definitionally authentic.

We don’t live in the world we live in. It’s an imaginary construct, and it’s surprising to see it as it really is.

Via CNN.

Past words

May 9, 2005
1 Comment

Community Book Solutions is a company which takes book donations and gets them to libraries. They also seem to have a book sales arm, which they don’t talk about much on their web site. That’s a little skeevy, if they’re selling the books people donate to them. On the other hand, I’ve found a few recommendations from librarians. And when you get right down to it, the fact that they’ll come to your house and box and pick up your books? That’s a total win for me. They take just about everything, too.

Day one

April 1, 2005
2 Comments

I’m moving back to California. I’m selling all my Satanic gaming stuff. I’m giving up on computers to work at the Brattle. I’ve been purchased by Microsoft. I’m dating Mitt Romney. I’m writing the next Pixar movie. I’m voting Republican. I hate Apple. I’m pregnant! I have a message from the future. I can’t believe I ate the whole Studebaker. I’m putting banner ads on the site. I just found out that I’m Mick Jagger’s long lost love child. I sold my kidney to buy a PSP. I’ve converted your favorite game to D20. I think Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction are in Syria. I’ve written an RFP regarding TCP/IP transmission via prayer. I wanna be sedated. I’m looking into gender reassignment surgery. I’m giving away a wee little terrier with every Netcom account. I got to work today and found a Ferrari in the pond. I can throw a fastball at 176 miles per hour. I’m an MIT research project. I’ve launched a hostile takeover of the Catholic Church. I hear the NBA and Major League Soccer are going to merge. I’m going to be charging $12.95 a month for site access. I am Pope John Paul II. I am Sylvester Stallone. I am Britney Spears.

Done.